Store A blonde walks into a store and goes over to look at some appliances. The salesman walks over and asks if she needs some help. "I'd like to buy this refrigerator." The salesman replies "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde goes home and dies her hair brown. She goes back in the next day and again asks to buy the refrigerator. But again the salesman says they can't sell to blondes. The blonde goes home and this time dies her hair red. She walks in the next day asking for the refrigerator. And again the salesman tells her they don't sell to blondes. Finally the blonde asks how he knows she is blonde. The salesman replies "Because that is a microwave."

If You Don't Somebody Else Will One day a blond guy went to find a job at a orchard. He got the job and in came his first customer. The customer asked, "How much are these apples?" and the blond guy yelled, "I don't know!" The customer left and the boss came in and said, " When somebody asks you that question, you say only 50 cents!" So another customer came in and said, "How much are those apples?" And the blonde guy said only 50 cents. Then the customer asked, "Are they fresh?" and the blonde guy screemed, "I don't know!" So the customer leaves and the boss says, "when somebody asks you that question you say fresh, fresh, very fresh." Another customer came in and said, "How much are thoose apples?" And the blonde guy replied "Only 50 cents!" Then the customer asked, "Are they fresh?" And the blone guy said, "Fresh, fresh, very fresh." Then the customer asked "Can I buy them?" And the blonde guy screemed, "I don't know" I'm a new guy, get it?" So the customer left and the boss comes in and said, "When somebody asked you that question, you said, "If you don't somebody else will. " One day a robber came in and he said, "How much money do you have in that cash register?" And the blonde guy said, "Only 50 cents!" So then the robber said, "Are you being fresh with me?" And the blone guy said, "Fresh, fresh, very fresh!" Then the robber asked "Can I shoot you?" And the blonde guy replied, "If you don"t somebody else will!"

T.G.I.F. vs S.H.I.T. A blonde lady and a man are in an elevator. The blonde obviously just ending a hard day of work and says, "T.G.I.F." The man sort of laughing and says, "S.H.I.T." The lady frusrated says again, "T.G.I.F." Again the man says, "S.H.I.T." The lady turns to the man and says, "How dare you swear in the presence of a lady! T.G.I.F.; thank god it's friday." The man turns to her and says, "I wasn't swearing! S.H.I.T.; sorry honey it's thursday."

The 6 o'clock News A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet." The blonde replied. A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped form the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50. No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50 dollars." The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 5:30 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out." "That's okay!" The blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

100 yard breast stroke race.. A blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing on the edge of the pool r eady for the 100 yard breast stroke race... The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and began swimming. A few minutes later, the brunette finished and jumped out of the water. Then the redhead. About twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged. They awarded the gold to the brunette, the silver to the redhead, and the bronze to the blonde. As they placed the medal around her neck, the blonde whispered, " I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think the other two used their arms."

aliigator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one! " Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later i n the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

ain Tracks brunette is dancing happily down the railroad tracks, singing to herself "...21 ...21 ...21 ..." After a little while, a blonde walks up to her. She observes for a minute and then asks, "What are you doing?" The brunette does not answer and keeps singing "...21 ...21 ...21 ..." So the blond jumps on the tracks and follows her dancing and starts singing "...21 ...21 ...21 ..." A little later a train comes down the tracks. The brunette jumps off, but the blonde keeps dancing and singing to her self and gets hit by the train. The brunette gets back on the track and starts dancing and singing again, "...22 ...22 ...22 ..."

An Blonde in Paris A blonde American man went to Paris to a beach and saw all these beautiful women walking around yet none of them would even look at him. He was a pretty good looking guy so he didn't see what was wrong. He asked his interpreter what he was doing wrong. The interpreter told him to get the smallest Speedo he could find and wear it to the beach tomorrow. He got the Speedo and wore it to the beach. Still nothing. He asked the interpreter what else to do. The interpreter said to get a potatoe and stick it down the Speedo. He ran down the street to the store and bought a potato. He put it down the Speedo and went back to the beach. But this time people were staring at him and some laughing. He went back to the interpreter and said, "I've done everything you said, only now they're laughing at me. Whats wrong!". "Sir, you were supposed to put the potato down the front of the Speedo!"

Flight School A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instryct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it, gave her the basics and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 ft., she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 ft., she radioed again, saying how easy it was learning to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 ft., and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anyting after I turned off the big fan."

Hell or Heaven? Three girls are dead. A brunnette,a red head and a blonde. The brunette goes up to God. God says, "say on true thing about yourself and you may go to heaven."So the brunette says" I think....Oh!I have brown hair. " up to heaven she goes. Then the red head goes up to God. And she has to say something true about herself also. "I think....Oh!I was born in California." up to heaven she goes. Next is the blonde and she has to say something true about herself too. So she says, "I think..." down to hell she goes.